That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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