so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
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We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
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I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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