Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize