Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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