so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize