she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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