Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize