Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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