I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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