I wish I could teleport
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize