lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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