He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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