I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize