but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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