The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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