Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize