I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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