At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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