I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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