forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
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What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
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In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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