I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize