i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
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I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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