He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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