i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize