never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think i have two assholes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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