It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
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THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
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you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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