Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
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We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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