I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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