8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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