Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Small penises have feelings too.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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