Whod you bang
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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