So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
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It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
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There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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