There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
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A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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