Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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