i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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