I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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