Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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