I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Pooping to opera.
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