Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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