You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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