Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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