Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize