1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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