Screwed.edu
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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