I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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