She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He shit in the fireplace
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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