I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize