yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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