Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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