Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize