im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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