I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize